


Minato's Laments

by A_Lysdove63



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, No Beta, Oneshot, Time Travel, Time travel but no one knows it's time travel, Trolling Minato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Lysdove63/pseuds/A_Lysdove63
Summary: ONESHOTSquad Kitsune was the bane of Minato's existence.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 229





	Minato's Laments

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little humor to brighten your day.

* * *

Minato stared at the scroll that sat innocently before him. Now, he has never been one for liking any paperwork that came with his position. But he’d give anything for his secretary to come in with a new batch to avoid the scroll that sat before him now.

“Are you going to open it _Yondaime-sama_?” The oh so sweet voice of the masked ANBU before him sounded so _innocent_.

Minato looked to the four-man team before him. Hound, Weasel, Bird, and Fox. All were covered by the henges the masks had on them, covering their original hair. Squad Kitsune. Fox was the Captain despite being the youngest, or reported as the youngest. They were all mid-twenties minus Hound. His reports were veteran shinobi. Minato pierce him as the eldest. He was the second in command.

Squad Kitsune was unique. They had appeared after Minato’s leave from ANBU, but before he’d taken the reigns of Hokage. So yes, there was a few good years that this sort of team could have appeared. But he didn’t recognize any of their signatures before his first meeting of them after taking his seat.

The only thing that the Sandaime had warned him of was to expect the unexpected with this particular squad. This ANBU team took all the risky and shady Missions. Even Simple C-ranks. If there was a hint of something not looking right, it was given to this team of Masked Nin. Nin that never took off their masks in any form. Not even for the Hokage.

Minato hadn’t taken the Sandaime’s warning seriously. He regretted it the first time Squad Kitsune returned from a simple B-rank information gathering mission.

Somehow this team always, ALWAYS, came back with an impossible mission report. That simple B rank? Nah, they ended up in an S-rank battle against Missing Taki Nin Kakuzu. They even came back with his head….and five stabbed hearts. Bird had even happily said that they even saved his body for Konoha dissection.

Minato shivered at the memory of bird’s voice. It was cheerful, but his Chakra senses didn’t detect any real hint of emotion from the ANBU. The other three had just snickered at Minato’s reaction.

It only got worse.

Escort mission? Turned into saving an entire country.

Infiltration and information gathering on Kiri? They aided the rebellion in saving the Yondaime Mizukage who apparently had been under a powerful genjutsu. Thus, ending the era of Bloody Mist.

Simple mission to deliver an alliance scroll to Suna? They ran into Sasori of the Red sand for some kami forsaken reason.

A simple rescue mission of his students Rin and Kakashi? They came back with Rin as the Sanbi Jinchuriki and his once assumed dead student Obito thrown over Hound’s shoulders.

A B-rank escort mission for an ambassador from Suna? They came back with an alliance treaty instead of just a peace treaty. And apparently, they had helped seal the Ichibi into the one of the Kazekage’s children.

Not to mention a mission that somehow ended up with the land of Sky being annihilated once again and the Zero tails Bijuu being stopped before it could be used against Konoha.

Then there was the mission that they gave no verbal report on. All four were covered in green goo, and Minato didn’t want to ask. All four had been radiating Killer Intent that even made Minato sweat.

So…Minato had every right in his year and a half of Hokage reign to look at the scroll before him like a ticking time bomb.

He took a whiff of the shinobi before him before poking the scroll with a kunai.

A snicker followed from Fox. “It’s not going to explode Hokage-sama.”

“Tell that to my last Hokage robes that couldn’t get that _things_ guts out of my robes.” He deadpanned the Captain.

Fox just shrugged. “It’s not my fault that the prisoner exploded after release.”

“Your seal was faulty Dobe.” Weasel snorted.

“It was not Teme.” Fox hissed.

“Taichou~” Hound called. “You were rushed. We understand that there would be repercussions. That was why Bird had one of your barrier seals prepared.”

Minato sighed before bringing the scroll closer and opening it. He eyed the storage seal on it. There was no identifying signature of what was contained. Taking a step back he reached forward and pressed a finger to it. Chakra flared and suddenly his desk was exploding with Gold. Golden coins.

“See!” Fox cheered. “We brought you a present this time!” He beamed behind his mask. Minato could almost feel his smile. “Now, we’ll enjoy our vacation.” He beamed before the four were gone in shunshins.

Minato relaxed in his seat with a relieved sigh.

Just as he was about to gather the coins up in a new scroll to be process, a stench was uncovered the more the coins were moved out of the way.

Gagging, Minato moved more coins away and paled when he found a large squid on his desk under the coins.

Minato will forever deny that he screamed like a girl when the squid, that he thought was dead, moved and lashed out to him with a tentacle. The suckers snagged on his face and he proceeded to run around his office trying to pry the water creature off his face.

His Guards finally came down eventually and helped their poor stressed out Hokage detach the creature. Circle marks were on the frazzled Hokage’s face as he eyed the squid wildly.

* * *

Fox hummed happily as he ate his bowl of ramen. Weasel snickered from his own stool at the Ramen stand. Bird was on Fox’s other side humming as he drew in his notebook. Hound was happily on Bird’s other side, nose stuck in a well-worn orange book, currently under a genjutsu since it wasn’t released yet. All of them were actually under a henge or genjutsu to cover their features.

“The Blondaime freaked out when he found your present Fox.” Weasel snickered again. “It got stuck to his face.”

Fox snorted between his bites of ramen. “Serves him right for sending us into pirate territory without warning.”

“Ma~ ma~ be nice to your Hokage Kitsu-Chan.” Hound drawled.

“I believe Fox was well within his right to prank our Hokage. He does give Blondes a bad name with his sissy actions.” Bird hummed.

“See? Even Bird Agrees with me.” Fox cheered. Hound could only chuckle before focusing back on his book.

All four paused when they heard giggling. Turning they found two women walking side by side. In their arms were two babies. One, had a head of bright sunshine yellow hair. The other had blue/black hair. The mothers were smiling at each other. The blonde baby in the arms of the louder redhead. The black haired baby held by a black haired woman with a kind patient smile.

The team just watched them happily walk past, ignorant to the four sets of eyes on them.

“We’ve done good.” Fox whispered.

“Hn.” Weasel grunted.

Bird just smiled a small smile.

Hound eye smiled and ruffled their hair. “Very good. And we will continue to do good where we can.”

“Believe it.” Fox gave a very foxy grin back, eyes twinkling in determination.


End file.
